Four Hours of Typing and This is What You Get:

It's sad how much I have to catch up on. I have a mental log of things I need to blog about and unfortunately my cerebral file cabinet is busting apart. So...here it is:

Pumpkinland

A couple weeks ago we went to Pumpkinland at the Vineyard Nursery. Pretty much we go every year since it's close to home and the least expensive Halloween activity. Anyway, the boys enjoyed the corn maze, animals, and fun things to climb on. We were sure to steer clear of the giant blow-up bounce houses that Cruise is so deathly afraid of. The boys got to pick out a little pumpkin and the rest is history.

Dave's Promotion
Also a few weeks ago, Dave was promoted to Training Manager at C&D Marketing. He now is in charge of training all the newbies and seems to be enjoying his new position (and pay raise). Even though he works more hours now, he still works less than 30 hours a week, which is pretty awesome! We love having him around so much! And I am just so proud of him for sticking it out and just being awesome. He really is incredible at what he does and it just amazes me. 

Cruise

We had Cruise's IEP meeting this month and it went very well. His teacher, speech therapist, and occupational therapist were quite impressed with the progress he's made in the past year and are excited for the new goals they've set for him. As usual, they absolutely love him and think he's the most darling boy in the world (which is absolutely true). Ever since school started this year, he has really made a huge amount of progress, and Dave and I are amazed on a daily basis by his new knowledge and skills.

One thing Cruise has learned from school is how to respond to the question, "What is your name?" We found this out one day when we took him with us to go house hunting with a real estate agent and she asked him, "What's your name?" Once she asked, I was prepared to respond for him, something I've done for the past four years. To my amazement, before I could open my mouth, Cruise responded, "MY NAME'S CRUISE!" I had to lift my jaw off the ground. I could've broke down right there and then because I never ever thought he would be able to answer a question, let alone that question. I should know by now to never underestimate his potential. At home he likes to play a game they taught him at school. He'll take a ball or a stuffed animal and say, "Catch the ____, say your name! My name's Cruise! I like to swim!" Then he throws it to me and I respond.

One day, Cruise asked me for some scissors so he could cut out pictures of books from the recent book order catalog. After cutting out a few pictures, he then asked me for paper and glue. So I got out the requested items and watched him as he carefully glued the back of the pictures and pressed them onto a blank sheet of paper. He filled the entire paper, held it up and said, "All done!" Since then, he does it quite often so I bought him his very own spiraled art book so he can keep all of his creations in a safe, orderly spot. He sure is getting good at cutting with scissors on lines! I just can't believe how big he is getting!

We started Cruise on private speech therapy this month. We noticed that the more verbal Cruise becomes, the more he babbles. We also wanted to work on him being able to tell us what he did that day. So since speech therapy is limited in public school, we added private speech once a week to give him that extra help and to also help me know how I can help him expand his vocabulary and learn more skills. So far he has really improved and only excessively babbles when upset.

On top of speech therapy, we got Cruise into Bridge's Social Group at Kids on the Move. This program runs once a week for an hour. Cruise brings a "neurotypical" friend and the teachers focus on specific aspects of social skills. Cruise has two friends who trade off every week: AJ and his sister Julia.  They attended Bridges preschool last semester with Cruise and they all were just so crazy about each other, so I was grateful they could attend Social Group with Cruise.

One major leap, which may seem not so big to everyone else, is that Cruise has finally learned to fall asleep on his own. Granted, he still must have his bedtime routine, but after lights go out and I sing 2 songs, I am able to leave him in his bed and he fall asleep without him needing me right there. It is SO NICE!

Cruise is learning self-help skills and practicing them on a daily basis. The other day he zipped up his jacket all by himself, made himself peanut butter cracker sandwiches, and is better about putting his pants back on after using the bathroom.

Yesterday we celebrated mine and my dad's birthday. Before we left the house, I asked Cruise to draw Grandpa a picture. I gave him a large piece of paper and some crayons. He drew a big circle, two little dots for eyes, a small circle in the middle of the face for the nose, and a line for a mouth. I asked him, "Who's that?" and he said, "Grandpa!" Then he drew a three-dimensional cake with lines coming out of it (candles). I was just amazed. It was the first time ever that he has drawn something specific and it actually looked like it. I was ecstatic and was a little jealous that I couldn't keep his first picture of an actual person. But my dad was really honored to get that picture.

Finally, this past week Cruise said something I've been waiting what seems like ages for: the "I love you, Mommy." It was after the bedtime routine, I kissed him goodnight and stood up to leave. His cute little voice sang out, "Good night! I love you, Mommy." He rolled over and fell asleep. I fought tears because it was just one of those moments that just lifts you up as a parent, especially a special needs parent. You know how people who go to work every day get some sort of "positive reinforcement" in the form of bonuses, promotions, etc.? Mommies don't really get that. So it's those little things like finally hearing, "I love you" that lifts you up and keeps you going. I sure love those moments. 

Jett

Jett turns 2 this next month and boy oh boy is he letting everyone know! He has developed quite the temper for a little guy, his scream could mask any firework around, and is quite easily provoked. That being said, he is also the sweetest, snuggliest, silliest little monkey-boy in the world. Jett doesn't necessarily want you to play with him, he just wants to sit and snuggle you while watching one of his favorite shows. Unfortunately, we can't just drop everything and watch an entire show, but we try to get one in there every now and then.

A couple weeks ago I took Jett to get his hair cut. His hair is so different than Cruise's. Cruise's hair is thick, wiry, curly, and dark. Jett's hair is the polar opposite: fine, straight, and very blond. The first time I tried cutting his hair, it was almost close to disastrous. You could see every little cut I had made and it ended up just not being even. So I thought I'd take him in to get a sale price haircut before the promotion ended. He was not happy. He didn't scream or cry, or even wiggle. He just sat there, with his bottom lip out and this look as if to say, "I'll sit here, but I'm not going to like it! You can't make me!" Needless to say, he sat still and I was able to observe how to go about cutting his hair.

Jett has started using the word "want". "Want dog", "want juice", "want Elmo"...you know, the basics. His receptive language is still amazing. But Dave and I have been a little worried about his expressive speech and are contemplating getting him evaluated. He has made progress, but it is very very slow and it's better to be safe than sorry. I've learned this from experience. 

Jett is finally reaching that age where he is learning how to play with others. He and Cruise, if not fighting, enjoy playing with each other. They like to chase the dog or cats around the yard, tackle each other, and play pirate or astronaut in the treehouse. It is such a relaxing thought to know that the kids are finally learning how to play with each other. Obviously I spend more time breaking up fights than actually getting anything done, but when they are nice to each other, it is such a wonderful feeling of pure joy. However, this brotherly love has also given me another little Daredevil. Jett thinks if Cruise can do it and not die, then shoot, he can do it too! Let's just say I have to keep a close eye on those two.

Finally, Jett is really into cars. Every time he sees a car that he thinks is just awesome, he has to get inside it and play with all the buttons and levers! We'll be in a parking lot and he'll make a total scene, tears and all, just because he wants to get in some random car. My parents have a new, little, red Smart Car that he has to play in every time he sees it. When playing in the yard, Jett will often ask to sit in either mine or Dave's car. He could play in it all day.

House Hunting
Most of you have probably heard that we are house hunting. We had found one that we LOVED and put an offer on, but there were 6 other offers as well. So unfortunately we didn't get it. So we are still looking. It is super frustrating and hard to drag the kids from one house to another for hours on end, but that's the only way we can go about it. I will say at this point I'm super discouraged, but we'll find a place and it'll be where we're supposed to be. I just hate the process, gosh dangit!

Cruise Goes Hiking With Dad (written by Dave)
Last Sunday, Cruise and I decided we should go for a walk in the mountains that turned into a hike to Stuart Falls. I didn't think that he would want to walk so far but we ended up all the way at the falls. He told me he wanted to go to the mountains, so I drove him up to the Stuart Falls/Timp Trailhead and we started walking. I figured we would just go a ways and then turn back but he kept on going and going. We decided to take Lucy with us, which Cruise absolutely loved as well. She stuck her head out the window of the car the whole way up the canyon. I am sure she loved to get out because she spends almost her entire life in the few 100 square feet that is the house and yard.

We started walking up the trail and I realized that Lucy was a blessing and a problem at the same time. She kept Cruise occupied because she would pull him and urge him up the trail but there were other dogs on the trail as well and she generally does not get along with other dogs. I was constantly pushing her along so she would not fight any of the dogs.

Cruise loved the mountains and the fall leaves and a good hike is something he seems to enjoy a lot as well. He gets in a lot of proprioceptive stimulation in. Lucy tried to chase squirrels every once and awhile but for the most part was very cooperative. Cruise walked all the way to the falls and enjoyed putting his feet in the water and throwing rocks into the water once we got there. About 5 mins before we reached the falls, however, he did take a tumble because he was holding the leash and lucy lunged forward before he was ready to jump down off a rock. He got a pretty good scrape on his arm. He was a tough little guy and only cried a little.

Cruise showing his battle wound for Mommy to see.

After seeing the falls and playing in the water we headed back down the mountain. I could tell the hike up had worn him out because he was walking pretty slow. I carried him about 3/4 of the way back down the mountain on my shoulders while holding back Lucy from fighting other dogs coming up.  Once we got to the car he passed out pretty quickly in the car seat on the way home.  We took lucy back to the house and then went to get some dinner at the Greers' where he still was so worn out from his hike he just wanted to lay on the couch the rest of the night.  That was a nice change of pace simply because he is usually so wired and full of energy he is practically bouncing off the walls.

While I was carrying him down the trail at one point only a few hundred yards away from the car, he told me to stop and he started going off about his toys he had brought with him. I tried to reassure him he had them in his pockets where I had put them earlier on, but he insisted I stop and put him down so he could get his toy that was in a tree.  I had no idea what he was talking about but I put him down and he ran back up the trail about 20 feet. He ran up to a tree where he found his action figure standing on a branch. I was dumbfounded and amazed. I was watching him pretty close on the way up and I do not remember him playing with that toy anywhere near that particular tree. In all honesty, I have no idea weather he set it there on the way up or if it dropped out of his pocket and someone put it there so we might see it on the way back down. I definitely did not see him drop it or see it on the way back to the car. That kid sees every little detail and noticed his little toy sitting on a branch when all I saw was more and more forest.

It was a very fun Father Son hike. I could tell he liked it as well and he even told me later that night "Thanks Daddy for going to Mountains." He was so tired on the way down the trail he even tried to lay his head on my head so he could fall asleep while I was carrying him. The trail was too rough for him to get comfortable enough to make it possible for him to fall asleep. I felt like a good Dad to be able to take him to see the falls and to carry him when he was too tired to walk. I especially felt like a good dad to hear him say thanks for taking him on our hike/walk.

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My Birthday
This year I turned 26. So weird. I remember being little and thinking people in their mid-20s were SO OLD! Ha ha ha! But honestly, I feel ancient. Mostly because I don't get enough sleep, enough to eat, enough exercise, enough time to finish anything. I feel like an 80 year old woman. I keep telling myself that one day I'll be able to eat right, work out, sleep a whole 7-8 hours a night, and get projects and house work finished on a timely basis. Is this just wishful thinking?

Anyway, for my birthday, Dave made me a big chocolate cake which the boys were super psyched about as well. Then the day after, Friday, Dave took me to Rodizio Grill to stuff ourselves with steak and exotic meats like buffalo sausage and rattlesnake (totally tastes like chicken). After making ourselves sick, we roamed around the mall and then to Toys R Us to look at some toys on sale (for Christmas...remember, I ALWAYS get Christmas shopping done BEFORE Thanksgiving).

Dave frosting my birthday cake.

Cruise "helping" Dad.

That night we enjoyed a lovely meat-induced coma. It was a great birthday.

That following Sunday, my parents had a party for both my dad and I since our birthdays are so close. And I got just what I wanted: crab legs and CASH. BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.

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Fall Festivities

One of our home-grown banana squash.

I love autumn. It is the most lovely season of the year. The colors of changing leaves, the crisp, cool jacket weather, and the smell of it all. I wish I could just pause autumn forever. The weather has been just perfect and I've enjoyed playing in the leaves with the boys, and watching them run around without a care in the world. Here are some of my favorite leaf-playing pictures:

Jett, saving the world one leaf at a time.

On Saturday evening, we decided to let the boys decorate their pumpkins. We let Jett color his pumpkin with permanent markers, which I will admit was not very well thought out. Exhibit A:

Cruise drew the face on his and then Dave carved it. Dave elaborated a bit, but Cruise was still pretty proud of his "spooky pumpkin".

Sunday evening, Dave and I got to carve our pumpkins. Dave did a creepy, artistic pumpkin, and I did Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc.

Now the part you've been waiting for...

HALLOWEEN!

Cruise got home Monday afternoon with bags of candy. Luckily, he had forgotten about most of it, so I was able to hide it. After an hour of down time while Jett was napping, it was time to take Cruise to Social Group. I dropped him off and took Jett to the nearest park to get his wiggles out. 

After picking Cruise up, we went to pick up a Jack-o-Lantern pizza from Papa Murphy's and headed home to get the oven started. Dave got home not long after us and together we had pizza and rootbeer. Cruise ate his pizza and quickly asked, "Go trick-or-treating?" So we suited the boys up and headed over to my parents' neighborhood to make the rounds. 

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Like last year, we just did the condos down one street. It was just enough candy and the boys were pooped out after just the one street. So we ended at my parents' house and let the boys remove their costumes and eat a few pieces of candy before having to go home.

Cruise held it together pretty well all day. But by 7:00pm, the whole day came crashing down and Cruise exploded. He is so well behaved and I have to remind myself that when he melts down like that, it's because of his autism and SPD. The poor kid had a day unlike any other and was exhausted from all the craziness we call Halloween. But I know they both had a great time, but too much Halloween makes for two upset kiddos.  

Team Cruise!

Yesterday was the Walk Now for Autism Speaks walk in Sandy at Rio Tinto Stadium. It was pretty cold, but at least not raining. Dave had to leave for work in the morning to attend a meeting, so I got the boys ready and drove up there to meet everyone else.

We all put on our team shirts, which turned out so awesome thanks to my dad. The shirts featured a Superman logo, but instead of the "S" it was changed to a "C" for Cruise. Under the logo says "Team Cruise". Cruise got a kick out of them and was flying off of furniture all morning before we left. He also thought it was awesome that we all had on the same shirt as well.

I tried to prepare him as much as I could, but because I had never gone to a walk before, I myself didn't even know what to expect. But I kept reiterating that there were going to be "a lot of people" and "a lot of noise". He seemed to be excited. But as I drove past the stadium packed with vendors and people, he started to melt down. He cried to go back home, but I wasn't going home, we were going to do this.

We parked and I got Jett and Cruise out of the car and into a double stroller, where I placed Cruise's noise canceling headphones on and covered him with a blanket so he couldn't see all the people. The second that blanket went on, he calmed right down.

We first headed straight for the Kids On the Move booth, where we got to say hi to Brittany, Laurie and Ari. They had saved Cruise a ball and me, a bag, which was so nice of them because they would've all been gone by then. The resource fair had started at 8:30am and I definitely wasn't going to go with the boys that early and stay that long. They wouldn't have gone for that.

My parents and then Dave showed up and we waited at the start line. The best thing about the walk was that it was about half a mile. Lol! Once around the stadium. About half way through, Cruise decided to get out and walk a little, but then decided being pushed is a lot easier. But I was happy he had finally come out of the blanket and joined in.

We could've walked longer, but we wanted to visit the other booths. So we spent some time looking, and then we got in line to get a balloon for Cruise. He had a rocket ship made. Jett spent most of his time climbing on the Police 4-wheelers and covering the service dogs with loves. We didn't get to participate in a lot of the other activities, but that was fine, just as long as the boys were happy.

We really appreciate the donations from my parents, my sister Ruth and her family, and our good friend Bronson Dameron. And we were so grateful to have my parents walk with us. Hopefully next year we can get a bigger team and more donations to Autism Speaks. But for our first year, I think we did pretty good. I think this will be a fun and meaningful tradition to continue.

Friday Outing: The Fire Station

I am always trying to find something new and fun for our family to do each Friday. However, with the boys' sensory sensitivities and needs, and Cruise's autism, I have to work within certain parameters, otherwise things can go downhill very quickly.

A few weeks ago I called up the fire station and asked if they do family tours. The secretary said they did, but that they will be having a big safety fair in October that we could attend. I thought that sounded pretty good until she told me what kinds of things they set up and how many people show. It sounded so much fun, but it could be a terrible disaster if attempted. So I decided to just make an appointment for a private tour.

We went this Friday and it was just perfect for the boys, especially for Cruise. The fire house itself was very visually stimulating, so it was a little hard for him to focus on what the fireman (who turned out to be Brother Williams from our last ward) was saying, but luckily it was very low key.

First, Cruise got to put on the fireman's uniform

then the boys got to sit in the firetruck

Cruise got to hold the fire hose

and after spending some time walking around, I convinced Cruise to try listening to the siren. They had us stand a couple yards from the firetruck and Dave and I covered the boys' ears as they let the siren sound. They both did really well and Cruise even let me take my hands off his ears for the last few seconds.

The fireman talked to us about how to teach the kids how to get out of the house when the fire alarm goes off (which I never thought about) and how to practice on a regular basis. I thought this was so good especially because having boys with sensitive hearing, it would be such a stressful thing for them to wake up to a regular fire alarm without being familiar with it. So we have some work to do on that.

After the tour, the boys each got a little fire hat, a pencil and a sticker badge. They really had a blast and once again, we had a successful family outing.

Playin' Catch Up

I've been so bad at blogging lately. Here are a few things that made it to the "Blog Worthy" list.

JETT:
He's just cute...and always BlogWorthy:

*Jett's favorite word is still 'No!' 

*I love how Jett says 'car' because he sounds like he's from Boston.

*He's also been working on his two word sentences which usually are "More _____" or "No ______". 

*He loves to read more and more. In fact, when we go shopping, both the boys act like they're in a candy store when we come across the book isle. It's so hard for me to say 'no' when it's books they want; whereas toys it's the easiest thing. I mean really, "NO! No books! They might give you ideas and make you smart!" See what I'm saying? 

*Jett is so much fun to watch when he plays. He loves big trucks and just like Cruise, enjoys little character toys. However, unlike Cruise, he would be totally fine if I didn't play with him...just as long as I'm near him, paying attention to every little thing he does. He just likes our undivided attention.

*Jett lately has been letting us know when he needs to be changed. Totally awesome and something we've never experienced before. Maybe potty training is in the near future?

LOCKS NOT TO KEEP PEOPLE OUT, BUT TO KEEP CHILDREN IN
I think I've written about Cruise running off before. It is always a horrific and terrifying feeling when Cruise runs off because my first thought is that something terrible happened to him and second, even if someone were to find him, he can't tell anyone what his name is, where he lives, his parents' names, or his phone number. 


Unfortunately it is very common among children with autism to wander off, or "elope". A couple weeks ago, my alarm went off at 7:00am so I could get Cruise up and ready for school. I got out of bed and noticed Cruise wasn't in bed with me (he usually ends up in our bed at around 2 or 3am every morning). So I figured he probably went downstairs or in the living room to play. I walked through the house and was headed for the stairs when I saw that the back door was wide open. 


I ran outside and ran around the yard yelling, no, screaming his name. I know he doesn't respond to his name very often, but it was all I could do. I had no idea how long he had been gone, and I could only imagine where he had gone and what could've happened to him. When I couldn't find him in the yard, I opened the gate to go look for him. Seconds later I found him in his pajamas, wandering around in the neighbor's yard.

That afternoon, we installed these:

When Cruise is inside, we deadbolt and then padlock both the doors. When he wants to go outside, one of us is always out there with him. I know, it looks really ghetto, but at this point it is something that had to be done. I sleep much better these days. 

AUTISM CARNIVAL AT WHEELER FARM

I suppose every year Sahara Cares throws a big autism carnival for kids with autism and their families. I decided to take the kids this year. It was last Saturday, which means Dave had to work. I asked my dad to come with to help me with the boys, which was so nice of him.

The night before, neither of the boys slept much, which means I was already exhausted, but that never really stops them. So we went ahead and drove up to Salt Lake to Wheeler Farm. On one side of the farm, there was a...farm. On the other, they had the carnival all set up. Lots of games, food, music, characters to get pictures taken with, blow up bounce-ons (the one thing Cruise is TRULY afraid of), and a lot of fun activities and resource tables. We never made it to the carnival. It was too noisy and overly visually stimulating for the poor kiddo to handle. So we spent our time seeing all the animals and going on tractor rides. The boys had a blast though.

When we first got there, Cruise already had a list in his mind of all the animals he wanted to see: horse, cow, pig, sheep! So, we saw them all.

On the tractor ride. 

CRUISE:

Another Blog Worthy Favorite, Cruise has been making incredible amounts of progress. I know how it goes, though, and I am prepared. Usually when they start making a ton of progress, it gets really good, plateaus for awhile, most likely regresses, and then it comes back around to more progress. But right now, he's just doing so well and I am just so amazed and proud of him.

Every day he says a whole new phrase, makes a new joke, has something new to say with new vocabulary, and every day I am blown away. 

Here are a few phrases and words that have suddenly popped up in the past couple weeks:

*"Can I pway wit you?" He walked up to Jett one day and just randomly asked. I was in complete shock.

*Jett had gotten mad at me for taking my cell phone away from him. So he walked up to me and started hitting me with a play sword. I was making dinner and didn't have hands, so I said, "Jett, stop, that hurts." Cruise noticed and said, "Jett, stop! Somebody get hurt! Not nice!" Jett then stole my phone out of my back pocket and took off running. Cruise chased him down, and returned my phone to me: "Here you go, Mommy." 

*Cruise got off the bus and started to tell me about the Grandpa. I was a little confused and asked him, "Did you see Grandpa?" He responded, "Grandpa driver...what's his name?" (HE'S NEVER ASKED THAT...EVER!) And I said, "Bob. Bob is the bus driver." "Yeah! Bob!"

*Jett was crying in the kitchen one day and Cruise walked up and asked, "What's wrong Jett? You scared?" My heart melted. One thing that has been hard to teach Cruise is empathy. That was just so sweet to hear. 

I could probably go on and on because each day is something more miraculous. I just feel so blessed to witness miracles every day.

FAMILY BIKE RIDE:

This last Friday, which is always our family outing day, we decided to take the bikes and the boys up to Provo Canyon and enjoy the beautiful weather. Since Cruise has been getting better at riding his bike with training wheels, we decided to bring his bike too.

We didn't want it to be exhausting and frustrating, so we took two cars. We left one at the mouth of the canyon, and then drove the Jeep (carrying the bikes) to Canyon Glen where we began our bike ride. This way we could bike downhill the whole time and not have to go back. Once we got to the bottom, we locked up the bikes, got in the other car, drove up to the Jeep, drove back to the bikes and loaded them up. It was a bit of a process, but the boys had a lot of fun and we all enjoyed the ride.

Mom says, "Jett, smile!" So he closes his eyes.

My amazing boys.

the end.

Interview with Temple Grandin

I'm a HUGE fan of Temple Grandin. I just wanted to post this video because she really addresses some great and useful things. Check it out:

For Those Of You Who Still Haven't Read This...

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Preschool Update

I thought I'd do a little update about how Cruise's preschool is going thus far. Honestly, I can't believe how well things have been going and I feel so blessed to have Cruise in such a great public school, with a great teacher, and with an incredibly small class size where each kid gets an aide. It really is something remarkable and I just couldn't be more grateful for the school situation this year.

Even after the first week of public school, Cruise was obviously making amazing progress. Every day he'd come home having learned something new and shared it with us for the rest of the day. Last week he came home and while he was playing with his toys began to say, "Black bird, black bird, what do you see? I see a...(looks at his toy penguin) PENGUIN looking at me." My mouth dropped and I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed. He now will sit down with a picture book and do the same rhyme with the pictures that he sees. It's just incredible to me.

When the first day of his private school, Bridges, began, I went to pick Cruise up from public school after lunch to take him. Immediately I got this big knot in my stomach and it made me uncomfortable. I took him to Bridges where I said goodbye and left for home. When I got home, I talked to Dave about the whole situation and told him what my gut feeling was, which was to not do Bridges and just keep him at public school all day. It frustrated me a little because I absolutely LOVE Bridges. After all, Cruise has been going there for an entire year and I am such a fan of their program. But deep down I felt like it just wasn't right this year.

I assessed why I love Bridges so much and what I feel like it helps Cruise with. It came down to two very important things: learning to socialize and the sensory aspect. So we decided that instead, to have him start a Social Group program at Bridges which starts in October. This program is once a week in the evening and addresses those two components. He will bring a "neurotypical" friend and there they will help him socially interact appropriately and also throw in sensory activities.

After making and finalizing our decision, the knot came undone and I felt so much better. It's so funny how many times we end up having to make a decision between two very wonderful things. Things that are in no way bad. I think that's what makes the decision particularly hard. But the great thing is having a continual dialogue with Heavenly Father and being able to feel and respond to the promptings of the Spirit. My life may be one hectic crises after another, but I always feel like I can manage them because I have Heavenly Father on my team. He sees things from a whole different perspective and so what may seem like a crisis to me, probably looks like a regular growing experience to Him. I am so grateful for that.