Today You Are Eleven

 Dear Jett,

Wow! It seems like yesterday you were a brand new little guy who just wanted to be snuggled and held all the time. You haven't changed much in that sense. You've always been sweet and so easy to love. Over this past year, you've had to grow and adapt so much. 

Jett, you're the funniest, warmest, most lovable kid I know. You have the best sense of humor and you always can make me laugh. You are so helpful and kind. You think of others and try to see the best in people. You're such a great example to me. You are such a good brother. You help your brothers out when they aren't able to do something. When they're sad or upset and I can't cheer them up, you always seem to be able to. You're a good friend and just a really, really good person. The world needs more Jetts. 

This next year is kind of a big one for you. You're going to get the Priesthood and pass the Sacrament. You're also going to start 6th grade next fall and holy cow! That's crazy! How did you grow up so fast?! You're getting to that fun, awkward puberty stage and as much as I hate to see my babies get bigger and taller than me, I find that there is just so much more of you to love. 

You are finding things you're interested in and really good at. You can solve any computer problem I have and you know how to figure things out when I've given up after 5 minutes. You are such a good reader and end up staying up late with your little lantern reading books cover to cover. You are so talented on the wakeboard; I'm always so impressed at your abilities. You are an excellent cook and baker; I always love cooking together with you. You're good at basketball, Rubix cube, fly fishing, and starting fires (the good kind). You are smart and pick things up fast, and you're incredibly independent, which sometimes is out of necessity. 

Being the middle kid is so hard. I understand more than you know. I've depended on you quite a bit since you were little and I know that's been hard. In a lot of ways, you've had to fill a big-brother role to both your brothers and I know that's unfair. But I am so proud of you and I just appreciate how you always step up and help out, even when you just really don't want to. I love you, kiddo.

I am so grateful for you, Jett. I don't know what we would do without your sweet, funny, and strong spirit. I love hearing your testimony of the Gospel and I love seeing how you live it each day. I am in awe of the young man you are becoming and I really can't take all the credit for it. You're amazing. I hope you know how much I love you; I hope you grow up having no doubts about that. I hope I make you feel loved each and every day and I'm sorry that I fall short sometimes. 

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy, I hope this next year is a great one for you! I love you so much!

Love,

Mom 

Today You Are Seven

Dear Miles,

This morning I swooped you up and snuggled you. I asked you how you got so big and you told me, "That's just what happens, Mom. People just grow up." I asked if you'd always be my baby, even when you're a man. You told me, "Yep! Even when I'm a dad! Even when I'm DEAD!" We both laughed at that one. You always make me laugh. One of these days, you're going to be too big for your ol' mom to swoop up, but luckily that isn't today. Luckily I'll be able to lift you into bed and tuck your tiny body into the covers tonight. And luckily I'll be able to carry your sleepwalking body back into bed at midnight. But even when you're too big for me to do that, even when you're a big old man and I'm a very old mom, you will always and forever remain my baby boy. 

This school year you were supposed to start first grade. You were to finally be at school all day long and eat lunch there and make new friends. COVID-19 threw a wrench in our plans and you got to start first grade with a teacher named Mom, in a single room with two older kids you know very well already named Cruise and Jett. But you didn't show any disappointment. I've been so blessed to be able to get to know you on a different level because of it. I have found that you are really smart in math and that you love learning new things. You are hilarious and have big and creative ideas. You ask insightful questions and you love to lead others. Reading hasn't come easy to you, but you've continued to work hard at it and have had a deep desire to be able to read on your own. Recently you've been staying up (later than you're supposed to) to read more Piggie and Gerald books on your own after we've read one together already. 

Miles, I know your world is so different than mine was growing up. I know you don't get to play with your friends or go to museums or go on vacations. Right now your world is our house, our yard, and our cul-de-sac. But you rarely ever point out how unfair it is. Because it really is unfair. However, I have loved spending more time with you. You grow so quickly and in some small way, this pandemic has helped me hold on to your childhood more intently. I hope you look back when you're old with fond memories of this time. I hope you look back and see our home and our family as a refuge from the chaos and heartache of this world. 

About a week ago, Jett and I were making cookies and we had made way too many. It was your suggestion that we give some to neighbors. You were so excited to drop them off and to share them with the people in our neighborhood. So many people texted me and told me they loved being able to talk to you. After dropping off the 5th and final plate, you said, "Mom, I liked sharing with our neighbors. It makes me feel like a good person." I told you that you shared because you are a good person. 

Miles, I so very much love being your mom. You are so full of love and kindness and sweetness; you are such a bright light. You show people you love them by drawing them pictures and giving hugs and kisses. Please don't grow too much this year. But even if you do, you'll still be my baby and I'll always love you no matter what.

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!

Love,

Mama

Today You Are Thirteen

 Dear Cruise,

I don't know how it happened so quickly, but you are no longer a child. Today you are a teenager. Sometimes when I look at you smiling at me, all I see is One Year you with your dimples and great big, twinkly brown eyes staring back. I can't believe how much you've grown. 

This past year has been an interesting one. You started jr. high last August not realizing how crazy things would be six months later, as we found ourselves learning from home and quarantining from the rest of the world because of COVID-19. It hasn't been the easiest living in a pandemic as a kid, but you've been patient and oh so very sweet. I have been able to count on you to be obedient and a peace-maker in our home and I am so grateful you've been that person.

You've spent a lot of time this year making funny videos on your Scratch.com account, and later sharing them on YouTube. I love your sense of humor; it brings me so much joy and helps me find laughter in a world that's increasingly sad, scary, and wicked. I hope that is something you will always share with others. Even if they don't appreciate it as much as I do. You should still share it. 

This year you also grew A TON and you are now almost taller than me, and your feet are definitely bigger. Which is fine with me because that means you'll stop stealing my sandals...maybe. Your voice is changing and Dad finally taught you how to shave. It is all so surreal to watch you grow up. 

Cruise, I can't tell you what this next year has to offer. I don't know if I'll do a good job homeschooling you. I don't know if we'll stay healthy. I don't know if the pandemic might get better, or if it will get worse. However, no matter what is going on around us, we have so much to be grateful for. No matter how bleak things may seem in the world, we have so much light and love within our own home. The Gospel of Jesus Christ strengthens each one of us, and His love brings us joy and refuge. Something I've enjoyed during this pandemic has been being able to do church at home. I love that you have a dad who is worthy to bless the sacrament, and I love that I have a son who is worthy to pass it. I am so grateful for your goodness and your desire to be righteous in all things. My prayer is that you continue to develop your testimony and to be continually striving to be a righteous man.

Cruise, I love you so much! You made me a mom 13 years ago. I had no idea what kind of kid I was getting when they placed you in my arms after you were born. I had no idea that I'd be getting a one-of-a-kind kid. But I don't think I could've imagined all the blessings I'd receive from having you as a son. You make me a better Mom and a better person.

Happy Birthday Cruise! You deserve to have an amazing day! I hope you always remember that your Mom loves you and that you are good, and kind, and so incredibly awesome.

Love,

Mom