Today You Are Fourteen

 Dear Jett,

I feel like we just celebrated your 13th birthday a few weeks ago, but apparently it's been a whole year! Before you know it, you'll be driving and dating and graduating and...leaving me. But I'm getting ahead of myself...14! Wow! 

Jett, there really is nobody quite like you. You are wise beyond your years and have such a good head on your shoulders. You're kind, considerate, empathetic, and forgiving. You're so smart and talented. You're funny and handsome. You're all the good things.

Something I love that you do is when I am leaving to run an errand or pick up your little brother from school, you ask if you can come with me. I love spending that time with you, even if we're just looking at a funny meme or listening to the radio. I know these days will eventually be gone and you'll be off, living your own life, but until then, I am going to enjoy every second I have with you. 

You started playing tuba this year and you've gotten so good! I'm so impressed at the progress you've made and that you were able to get into Wind Symphony, that's quite an accomplishment! And I love that you love it. I'm so proud of you for sticking with it and practicing as much as you can. It's a lot of fun for me to hear you perform and even just practice at home. 

You've also gotten so good at wakeboarding. It's crazy how quickly you learned to jump the wake and kept trying over and over again. I know Dad loves that you enjoy going out on the boat with him and asking him for tips on how to improve. 

You also have so much talent when it comes to problem solving, especially when it comes to computers. You are brave enough to take computers apart and fix them. I'm scared just pushing a few buttons, but removing tiny screws and pulling stuff out of a computer would terrify me. It's amazing.

I've loved going on a few Mom & Son dates this year. I feel bad we didn't get to do a lot more of them, but I love that we both love good food. It's a lot of fun to go on lunch dates with someone who can talk about how to cook a burger perfectly or what kind of sauces are best on nachos. Or what makes a Dirty Dough cookie the best. You continually impress me with your food and cooking knowledge. It was really kind and selfless of you to cook an entire Valentine's meal for the family and then later for Cruise and his prom date. You made the most amazing steaks, scallops, and mashed potatoes. I'll never be able to recreate what you do.

Jett, 8th grade is probably one of the hardest years, but you have really gone into it confident and strong. You've made good friends and have made good choices. You are active in your Quorum at church and find joy in the gospel. You're such a Christlike young man and a great example to everyone around you, and I am just so proud of you.

Keep doing what you're doing, kid. I wish I could take all the credit for how amazing you are, but like I always say, you just came that way. You're such a wonderful son and a fun brother. You find joy in serving others and spending time with your family. For your birthday this year, you insisted on just having a family party. You wanted to see the new Hunger Games movie and go out to eat at Wallaby's, just us. I love that you're in our family. It just wouldn't be the same without you. 

Happy Birthday my incredibly wonderful teenager. I am forever grateful to be your Mom.

Love,

Bruh

just kidding...

Love,

Ma 

Today You Are Ten

Dear Miles,

It's a bittersweet day knowing you are no longer in the single digits; you're no longer a little boy anymore. You have now reached big boy status. I didn't expect the day to be so emotional for me and I guess I'm just a little sad that with each day, that is the last of that age that I'll ever have as a parent since you are my baby. But at the same time, you are getting older and wiser and more independent. You develop skills and passions and goals for yourself, and that's pretty cool.

This past year had a lot of ups and downs for you. A lot of new feelings of anxiety and panic were experienced but you have grown stronger and have gained a lot of new skills to help manage all of that. You've also had a lot of wins this year with developing your piano talents, moving up a grade in math, improving your baseball skills, getting SO much better at snowboarding and wakeboarding, and finding good friends. 

I have loved going on Mommy Son dates with you. I love that you want to help me with any and all projects, that you love to learn how to cook from me, and that you always want snuggles and loves and my undivided attention. I'm not always perfect at that last one, but it's not because you're not important to me. You and your brothers are the MOST important and I love being your mom. 

I love your laugh and goofiness. I love that you like me to read to you and that you like me to make a pizza on your back before bed. I love that you love your brothers and want to spend time with them. I love that you are kind and accepting of others. I love that you tell me your worries, the things that make you happy or excited, and everything in between. I love that you love your dad and want to work with him on his projects. But I especially love the small things that you do. Like on Sundays when dad parks on the side of the church that only has grass and rocks and I'm in my heels, you hold my hand and let me lean on you so I don't fall. Or when you give me a random compliment. Or when you notice I'm having a hard day and give me a hug, a snuggle, or play with my hair. You're a kind, intuitive, compassionate, and loving boy and I know that is just who you are to your core.  

This year, I hope you continue to find joy and fulfillment in everything you do. I am so proud of you and the choices you make and the person you are. Being your mom brings me so much joy and I know I always tell you to not grow up, but truly, you're the only one not taller than me in this family now, so please just take your time growing up. I still can carry you to your bed and it's not lost on me that one day, it'll be the last day I'll ever pick you up.

I love you so much Miles! You are wonderfully amazing and I am the luckiest mom to have you as my baby boy. Happy 10th Birthday kiddo!

Love,

Mom

Today You Are Sixteen

 Dear Cruise,

Sixteen years ago today, I became a mother. A mother to a beautiful baby boy. I was young, probably too young, and I definitely didn't know what I was doing. But we figured it out together, didn't we? But man, I can't believe it's been sixteen years. I can't believe you're sixteen years. I feel like each and every day I'm reminded that I might have you for only a couple more years, and then you'll be off, making adult decisions, living an adult life. I'm not ready for that. And to be honest, I don't feel like I'm even old enough to be making adult decisions and living an adult life. So when I think about you doing all that, it's scary and overwhelming, and some of the days I wish I could time travel to where you were still little and things weren't as complicated. But I guess, in a way, it's a blessing to feel that way because each and every day I'm overwhelmingly grateful to have you here. With me. Safe. 

Yesterday at church, as it was fast and testimony meeting, you unexpectedly stood up and walked up to the pulpit where you delivered the most beautiful testimony. I wish I could've recorded it. It was sincere, heartfelt, full of love and confidence, and most importantly, it was full of The Spirit. As I sat there, taking in every word, I teared up and found myself in awe of the young man you've become and the testimony you've grown. I think it was the first time I had heard your testimony and really knew it was yours and not part of mine. That you had really worked for it. And that you knew it to be true.

 Today as I was driving home from work, I thought about your life so far and how you've always exceeded expectations and how you've proved people wrong along the way. I love that you refuse to be put in a box and how you confidently reach for the furthest star, only to catch it and find another, further star to reach for. You're magnificent. 

Just in a week you'll be starting your Junior year. You're planning for taking the ACT, looking into colleges and scholarships, and already talking about serving a mission. You're still working at the Megaplex theaters and I'm so impressed that you've continued to work there and make your own money. You're not interested in driving yet, which, let's be honest, is kind of a relief. You love to write and create, and want to go into the film industry as a writer, director, and actor. You love playing D&D with Jett and your cousins. You're a deep thinker and always want to discuss ideas and thoughts. You're fun to be around and you make me laugh daily. I love that you're my son.

Cruise, I love you, kiddo. I am so proud of you and I wish I could say it was because of me, but it's all you, buddy. Thank you for being patient and understanding when I haven't been the best mom. Thank you for making me a better person. And thank you for loving me, even on my most unlovable days. 

Happy Birthday, Cruise. I love you so much.

Love,

Ma