"LOOK!"

Cruise and his snowman from last week.

Cruise never said this word...until a little over a week ago. He's never shared anything he's excited about just to share it.
HUGE BREAKTHROUGH!
About a week ago, Cruise wandered in the house from outside holding a Doritos chip. He walked right up to Dave and said, "Look! Chip!" Dave was more confounded by the chip itself at the time, not realizing just how amazing this new development was. He was worried some sick guy outside was handing out chips to our son. So Dave walked outside and found the two little Hispanic neighbor girls from next door, feeding Cruise chips through the fence. Dave was relieved, told Cruise to thank them, and went back into the house to tell me what had just happened. When I pointed out how huge it was that Cruise was engaging in shared enjoyment, Dave realized that Cruise never had just shown us something because he was excited about it. I went outside and asked the girls if they'd like to come over and play: they excitedly accepted my invitation.

Cruise was SO EXCITED to have some little friends over. It was perfect because Cruise speaks little English, one of the girls also speaks little English, and the other girl only speaks Spanish! A match made in heaven.

They played outside for what seemed to be an hour. Every 15 minutes or so, however, I got a little knock on my screen door by the little girl who only speaks Spanish: "El nino salio y fue a mi casa!" (The boy left and went to my house!) I'd look next door to find that the older girl had Cruise by the hand and was leading him back to our house. I'm not gonna lie, I honestly considered hiring them to be my Wrangle and Report team. One would wrangle the boy, the other would come and tell me. I wanted them to stay forever!

I'd check on them periodically only to find them playing with each other so nicely. They'd be interacting with Cruise and giggling and teasing. It was a sight for sore eyes.

When it was time for them to go back home, Cruise cried. I smiled. He had friends and had made a huge developmental step: engaging in shared enjoyment.

Mama Knows Best

Last Friday, we took the kids to the Provo Beach Resort in the Riverwoods. We tried the bowling and other things; Cruise liked the bowling, but all Jett wanted to do was run down the lanes (Dave had to save him more than once before he slipped).

They have a huge play area for kids that is separated by a glass wall and door so you can peer in. We tried to get Cruise to go in, knowing he would love it, but he tried to run and started to cry. Knowing that this play area was just up his alley, I picked Cruise up, opened the door, walked in, and proceeded to remove his shoes so he could play, all the while he was crying, protesting and trying to leave. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the parents sitting there were flabbergasted at the fact that I would FORCE my child to enter this room of pure propriocetive and vestibular joy. But as I quietly said to myself, "THIS IS NOT YOUR CHILD!" I put him into the play area, and within a minute or two, Cruise looked around and his eyes lit up.

Needless to say,  he cried all the way home.

Projects

It's garden season again! With the sale of our boat, Dave decided he is now a full-fledged gardener. So much, in fact, that it has become more of his thing, and he LOVES it, which makes me love it. He may get most of the garden, but I get a little patch for my herbs with a quaint little white picket fence to keep the animals out.

This year, Dave decided to lay things out in a sort of square foot type of garden. He went and picked up some free pallets, broke them down, and made himself some walkways that set up the boundaries for each section of the garden.

This year we are growing:
-tomatoes
-cucumbers
-eggplant
-corn
-green onions
-garlic
-pumpkin
-banana sqush
-zuchini
-carrots
-jalapenos
-strawberries
-cilantro
-basil
-rosemary

I think there are more...but I can't remember.

Anyway, here are a few shots of the garden as of this past week:

My recent project isn't nearly as monumental and amazing, but I was getting tired of never remembering my coupons and not being able to organize them effectively:

Light it Up Blue!

Today is World Autism Awareness Day. People and companies have been encouraged to light it up blue to spread awareness of autism. The Empire State Building changed its lights to blue for the evenings of April 1st and 2nd to spread awareness. Our family is wearing blue and thousands are doing the same. So everyone, don't forget to wear your blue today!

Speaking of autism, Cruise finally received his official diagnosis: Autistic Disorder. I got the paper in hand this past week. It's strange because most parents start out with the diagnosis and then go from there, but we've kind of gone backwards. Many parents will get their child tested without any idea about what autism entails, and so when they get that diagnosis, it's almost like a knife to the chest. It can be incredibly difficult to accept. I feel blessed that in our case, things were eased into the realization and acceptance that Cruise was in fact, autistic.

In October, there will be a Walk for Autism in Sandy, UT with Autism Speaks that I'll be participating in. If any of you would like to join me or would like to donate to Autism Speaks, just click here.

And don't forget to LIGHT IT UP BLUE!

The Little Things

Why are the little things so big?

Here are my two favorite little things:

My little things do lots of BIG things that I love!

Cruise:
-I took the boys with me last month to a baby shower that was an open house sit-down lunch. I got Cruise his food, handed the plate to him, and watched him as he found himself a seat at a table full of women. As he got himself situated, he looked up, waved and said, "HI!" in his usual loud voice. The women all started to laugh which of course prompted Cruise to do his great big fake laugh. It was the cutest.

-Cruise was playing with his little people house and people one day while I was working on the computer. I heard Cruise talking and then saying, "Bye Cruise! Bye Grandma!" and then a great big smooch sound.

-Cruise now will call out, "MOM! WHERE ARE YOU?!" when he can't find me. I love it.

-Cruise went from screaming and covering his ears when I sang to wanting me to sing him to sleep. The first night he did this last month, I almost cried. As a little baby, I couldn't ever sing to him to calm him because it always had the opposite effect. Now he'll lay in bed while I sing his favorite songs and he drifts quietly off to sleep with a great big smile on his face.

-Along with the singing, Cruise LOVES to sing along in primary and in the car.

-Cruise's favorite new phrase is, "What's that?"

-When Cruise is having a fit because he is wanting something and just keeps W H I N I N G, all I have to say now is, "Use all your words please," and then he'll calm down and say, "I-want-____-please!" Usually it's candy.

-Cruise has become quite a friendly little guy. He waves and says, 'hi' to random people at the store, as we pass cars, and even at the mailman: "Hi mailman!" "Bye mailman!" When we leave some place, he always says, "Bye ____!" On Sunday as we got of the car to go into the chapel, Cruise waved and said, "Good bye car!"

-CRUISE WILL HOLD MY HAND NOW!!! I will tell him, "Hold Mama's hand" and up he reaches to hold my hand.

Such joy in the smallest of things. They're so big to me.

Jett:
-Jett has an unhealthy attachment to our portable DVD player. I'm still confused about the whole thing. He actually wakes up every now and then in the middle of the night and instead of wanting a bottle, goes on a mad search of our room looking for the DVD player. It's a serious problem.

-Just like Cruise, Jett refers to the movie 'Wallace and Gromit' as 'cheese'. Jett is obsessed with this movie and walks around with the movie jacket in hand saying, "cheese, cheese, cheese".

-Jett watches Cruise so much. He looks to him to know how to play and what to do with certain toys that he's unfamiliar with. It's so adorable. He wants to play with Cruise so much and really loves his big brother. He tries to do everything Cruise does. The other night, Dave was laying on the living room floor after a long day of knocking doors when Cruise climbed the couch and jumped on him. Jett thought that was hilarious, so he climbed on the little trampoline on the opposite side of the room and "jumped" off onto Dave. He couldn't really jump, so he stepped off and then fell to the floor and then climbed on Dave. The boys kept doing this over and over and couldn't stop giggling.

-Jett's receptive language constantly baffles me. He understands so much and I'm just not used to that. I can hand him something and say, "Give this to Daddy" and he'll follow my instructions instantly. No clarification or other prompt needed. I almost have a heart attack on a daily basis.

-Jett has quite the personality. He knows what he wants and is incredibly decisive. He is stubborn and does not forget. Redirecting him is a day long process.

-Jett is so mischievous and likes to get a rise out of Cruise. He knows just how to do it too. He will go over to Cruise, take a toy he is playing with, and then look at him waiting for the reaction. Once Cruise predictably throws a fit, Jett hands him the toy back, smiles, and claps for himself (because I've been trying to give him positive reinforcement lately, but he's caught on a little too much). He will repeat the whole scene over and over again. I think he just gets bored and likes being in control of Cruise's reactions.

Something I've observed in just the past couple of weeks is how Jett just gets Cruise. He is incredibly observant and almost understands him. Today I was in the kitchen making the boys some dinner. Cruise had been laying on the floor having a meltdown for about a half hour. I couldn't get him to tell me what he wanted, so I went into ignore mode. Jett waddled into the kitchen to see what all the fuss was about. When he saw Cruise upset on the floor, Jett found a toy and handed it to his brother who took it and threw it at his PECS board. Jett picked it up again and handed it back to him, which ended up with Cruise throwing it again. I praised Jett and led Cruise to his room to calm down. Cruise's fits used to scare Jett, but Jett has come to be so patient and understanding, and now they don't bother him.

These two boys are amazing and I am so glad I get to be their Mama. They teach me so much and despite the headaches I endure throughout the day, they surprise me and find joy in being with each other, which in turn gives me a joy that only a parent can understand.

26

Yesterday was Dave's 26th birthday! Sunday my parents had a family party for him and he got some much needed slacks and pair of tennis shoes from my parents (first new pair since high school).

The boys decorated a frame for him (they even wrote their names).

And I made him and my sister Abby (whose birthday was the 24th) a German chocolate cake

Cruise cheering.

Then Monday I took Dave out to Rodizio Grill since it's the first year they are doing the free birthday meal deal (to compete with Tucanos). So we went and stuffed ourselves silly with the best cuts of beef and spicy chicken.

Just to remind him of how old he is getting, when the waiter brought back his proof of I.D. (his driver's license with his picture from when he was 16) the waiter commented that he looked nothing like his ID picture. Ha ha ha! 

But really, he's not THAT old, even though I tease him that he's "soooo old!" because he's a whole 8 months older than I am. 

He's accomplished quite a bit in his 26 years and I am so proud of him. He is the world's best husband and Daddy and his boys are absolutely nuts about him. You should see the tackling that goes on when he gets home! 

Thanks to all the family members who wished him a Happy Birthday via phone, e-mail and facebook! 

I love you David! I hope you had a wonderful birthday!!!

Valentine's Day, the Boys, & Cruise's Field Trip

Valentine's Day
For Valentine's Day this year, my parents got us tickets to a production at Mountain View called, "A Night with Andrew Lloyd Webber". So while they watched the kids, we went to the show (which was pretty good considering they're high schoolers) and then afterwards we went to Tucanos and stuffed our faces. Tucanos was having a special deal for Valentine's where you get two chocolate dipped strawberries and a rose with your meal, and since Dave had a coupon for his birthday, we decided to use it for V-Day.

Dave got me a dozen red roses (he always picks out the most beautiful roses) and I got him a leather keychain with a picture of us from where we were engaged. I think he liked it. ;)

We got the boys a character set of Toy Story 3 (little characters) and they loved it! We gave it to them just as we were leaving for the show and it calmed Cruise right down (of course).

The Boys: Cruise

Cruise is doing awesome. We reintroduced gluten back into his diet; I don't know if it was the smartest thing or not, but I am still seeing how things are going...but if anything I'll just limit his gluten intake from here on out.

I had Parent Teacher Conferences with his teacher at Vineyard last week. I had prepared to hear the worst, but as his teacher, Miss Tina, went over his IEP goals, I was pleasantlly surprised. He has been raising his hand, waiting nicely in lines, and singing along during singing time. His teacher loves him. She said she could just wrap him up and take him home...and she already has 4 children! However, apparently Cruise regressed quite a bit over the holiday break which means he qualifies for summer school!!! So he'll be going 3x a week to his Vineyard preschool this summer. Next school year he'll be preparing for Kindergarten, so he can go as many as five times a week.

Bridges Preschool is still awesome! It's growing and growing, so now there is a morning and an afternoon class. Cruise is still in the morning class with five other classmates. He generally does really well now and is actually participating in art activities and not freaking out as much about having paint or glue on his hands. Laurie, the director, talked a little bit with me about starting to separate from Cruise during class time (since I'm right there by his side for the whole two hours) so he can begin regulating himself and not depending on prompts from me to do what is being asked. I totally agree, however, I kind of don't want to. You see, Cruise was a daddy's boy up until age 2 1/2, so he's been my little pal for the past year and I'm not sure I can handle it. I don't know if I'm ready to give that up. I think he'd do just great! But Mommy is a bit scared of Cruise not needing her around. I'll get over it.

Cruise has starting singing... A LOT! It's just awesome! His favorite songs lately are 'Wheels on the Bus', 'Cat Goes Fiddle-I-Fee', and 'Frosty the Snowman'. He will be playing and just singing on his own, no big deal. I love having music back in the house since he couldn't handle it for so long! Up until about 4 months ago, Cruise would scream every time I would try to sing to him. Now I find it as a great distraction from his haircuts. Yesterday as I was cutting his hair, I went out on a limb (expecting a huge meltdown) and started singing "Wheels on the Bus". Well, lo and behold he started singing it with me! And for the rest of his haircut, we sang all his favorite songs as he sat nicely for me. First time ever.

Cruise has been saying his first 3-word sentence regularly: "I want _____" and most times we can get him to say "please" at the end. This has been just wonderful! It actually has helped end tantrums and meltdowns because when he starts to lose it, I say, "What? I don't understand you. Say, "I"..." And then he'll calm down, and say (through tears), "I....want...._____" (usually it's candy). It's so nice to finally get a sense of what your kid wants in their own words!!!

We're also getting a small glimpse of him answering questions. The only question he'll answer presently (most of the time) is, "What's that?" and "Who's that?" I LOVE IT!!! I can't express how amazing it is to get an answer from this little stud of mine!

He has also been calling out to Dave and I, "Mom!!! Dad!!!" That also is awesome! It's so fun to hear him call me Mom. He has been doing awesome with counting: he can count up to fourteen and down from 10. He also can spell his name out loud correctly. And now when he sees someone crying, he says, "Cry. Sad." We have made progress with 2 emotions!!! He can successfully and accurately label sad and happy!!!

Cruise finished up diagnostic testing just recently and it is currently being scored. This will be his second diagnostic testing but his first that is actually signed by an actual doctor. So I guess you can say this will be his official diagnosis once we get the scoring/results back.

Cruise and Jett have been getting along much better lately. Cruise will always give Jett a toy when we ask him to. But if Cruise starts crying/whining, then usually Jett will give the toy back. Cruise hasn't been clobbering or pushing Jett any more (which is such a relief) and they both laugh at each other when they're being silly.

Here's some video of Cruise. You'll probably think I'm annoying by saying his name over and over and over again, so sorry in advance:

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Jett

Jett is now 15 months old! Jett was sick for a couple weeks recently. It started out as stomach flu and then went to a double ear infection. He couldn't keep anything down for almost two weeks and wouldn't drink fluids other than his milk (which didn't help at all). We took him to the doctor a few times: the first time he got a shot of antibiotic, but still was throwing up so we took him in again, got another shot of the antibiotic and a shot of zofran (anti-nausea meds), as well as a prescription for zofran. He was so dehydrated that his pediatrician said if he got worse, they'd have to hospitalize him, so luckily the zofran helped quite a bit and Jett was finally able to keep food down.

He had lost some weight due to his constant vomiting for two weeks, the poor guy, and was back at his weight from when he had gone in for his 12 month check up: 20lbs. But since getting better, he just eats, and eats, and eats, and eats! This morning he sat at the breakfast table for a half hour just stuffing his cute little face to his heart's content. It has been quite evident of his weight gain just in the past week. He not only eats his food, but then steals Cruise's food as well...he even manages to use a fork half of the time! He's still such a little guy and I honestly don't know where on earth he puts all that food, but man can that kid eat!

Jett eating with a fork.

Jett eating Cruise's food.

Jett's favorite movies lately are Wallace and Gromit, Bolt, and Robin Hood. He LOVES music and dancing! Every time he hears music he starts bouncing and dancing in circles. It's the most adorable thing.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Jett is such a teaser and thinks everything is funny, even my angry face. He loves to laugh and do his big cheesy grin. But when he's sad or mad or any other negative feeling, he definitely has to let everyone around him know.

Jett doesn't like wearing  pants. I think I end up redressing him about 8 times a day because I always find him and his pants in two separate rooms. He also doesn't like socks. I can't wait til Summer.

Jett keeps learning more and more words, like Mo for Elmo. Every time he sees an animal that growls or roars, he makes a cute little roaring sound. He loves bears! And despite his advances in expressive language, he likes to pretend he doesn't understand us when we tell him what to do.

He loves to play "Keep away from Mom" which is where he has something he's not supposed to have, like my phone, the remote, candy, etc. and waves his arm around so that I am unable to grab it. In a nutshell, he's my little mischievous son.

But he is such a sweetie. He is a great snuggler and will let me just hold him while we sit and watch a show together. So even though he's a Daddy's boy, he at least lets me snuggle him once in a while. :)

Cruise's Field Trip
Today Cruise and I drove up to SLC to the Clark Planetarium where we met the rest of his class from Bridges Preschool. Cruise had a blast! This was his first time being introduced to outer space and he was in heaven. I got him a hot dog and a drink since he seemed to be hungry and I wanted to avoid any reason for a meltdown.

He got to run around for awhile and touch/look at everything before the hour long show in the dome. The show was geared towards little kids and Cruise was that annoying person who comments all throughout the movie. But, it was Cruise, so of course it was cute and everyone else thought so (luckily his class was the only one in the room during the show).

Eating lunch on the moon.

After the show, he picked out a toy from the gift shop: a space shuttle and astronaut. I wanted to get the $5 space shuttle, but Cruise had to get the one with the little space man that came with it, which of course cost $9, but how often do we go to the planetarium? So I was a sucker and bought it for him. We headed out to the car with Cruise announcing, "5,4,3,2,1...BLAST OFF!!!" Everything was fine until...the freeway. That was when Cruise started screaming, crying, and trying desperately to climb out of his seat. By the time we got home, he was all tangled up in his seatbelt and still screaming. I untangled him and of course he went booking it down the street...so not the best ending to a perfect morning, but hey, you take the bad with the good, right?

Picked Up a Book...

I started reading a book this week...YES, AN ACTUAL BOOK! Seriously, I have a mile long list of books I've been wanting to read that has been collecting dust since Cruise was born. This book wasn't even on the list, but a mom of one of Cruise's classmates suggested it and let me borrow it, so how could I turn it down?! It's called "Cowboy and Wills"  and I don't think I've ever cried this much through a book. It probably would only be that extreme if you could relate to the story, as it is about a little boy with autism: the author's son, Wills, and his dog Cowboy.

Since I began reading it, I realized just how much I had forgotten: Cruise covering his ears and screaming in any place public, his screaming every time we got him out of the tub, us having to hold his body down just to diaper and dress him, his screaming when people came to the house, the impossibility of going to family gatherings, his need to carry every little toy he could hold EVERY WHERE WE WENT, and his meltdowns so violent he'd pick up furniture and throw it. It's funny how you can let things like that get pushed to the back of your memory; but remembering it reminds me just how far he has come and yet just how far he needs to go.

From time to time I get a glimpse of what it is like to have typically developing children: a child who can talk to you and tell you how they're feeling or how their day went. A child who can play appropriately with peers. A child who can empathize. I notice these children at church and in other random places and am always amazed at how kids just develop like that! I'm always amazed at Jett's progress as I'm constantly baffled at how he can communicate, how he looks at me when he is amused by something, how he hugs me when I get hurt. Sometimes I think, "Man, those parents don't know how good they have it," but at the same time I'm the parent who gets to do a touchdown celebration dance every time Cruise says a new two-word sentence, makes eye contact, initiates peer interactions, and gives me a hug. I'm tickled every time he follows directions and self-soothes. And so in that perspective, I guess I can say I'm the luckiest mom to appreciate every little thing. Every little developmental centimeter. And I guess because Cruise is the oldest, I appreciate every bit of growth from Jett (although I have to constantly remind myself that he is in fact typically developing and not a genius).

Anyway, as I read this book, floods of memories, good and bad, rush in and I find myself embarrassingly wiping my eyes every sentence. I don't know why, but when you are able to experience someone, even through words, who knows exactly what you have dealt and deal with every day, it is the most heartwarming, comforting feeling in the world. Parents of children with autism tend to become isolated once it's evident that our children are different. It's not necessarily anyone's fault, it is just that you are in "autism world" all day, every day and it is your reality. It makes conversations with typical mothers very strained as they cannot relate to the extent necessary to maintain strong, long lasting friendships. I guess it could be explained this way: me talking about parenting with a mother of typically developing children is like a mother of typically developing children talking about parenting with an individual with no children. If that makes any sense. It's just so different. But once we find those few individuals who have experienced those dark places only we know, we find a quick and understood friendship to last five life-times.

Monday: The New Saturday

Since Dave can work whenever he feels like it, we decided to designate a "Saturday" for him that isn't on, well, Saturday. We decided on Monday because every one else is at work which means we can do anything with the kiddos without having to deal with crowds and noise (aka, sensory overload). So for our first "Saturday" we took the kids to Pirate Island Pizza.

We explained to Cruise that we were going some where with pirates (he's been into pirates lately), so before leaving, he was sure to grab his pirate ship and pirates to bring along. We showed up at 11:00 (the exact time they opened) to find the entire place not only empty, but absolutely no employees to be found. The arcade still hadn't been turned on either, but that didn't keep us from making ourselves at home. While the boys ran around, I sent Dave to look for someone who worked there. He finally came back with a pirate waiter in tow. The pirate was very un-piratey like as he handed us a bag of free coins for the arcade to apologize for not having anyone there to greet us. SA-WEET!

And so for an hour and a half, we had the whole place to ourselves. The boys had a blast and Dave and I actually got to enjoy being out with the kids. We enjoyed the pizza and salad lunch bar, the games, and the prizes! It was a very successful family outing. We could let the kids run around and we weren't worried about them getting lost or having meltdowns due to the crowds and noises.

And yes, I totally make him wear this shirt on a regular basis.

I am sure gonna like having Mondays as our Saturday. So many possibilities have opened up!