Today You Are Twelve

Dear Jett,

Holy moly you're 12! It's your last year as a tween! That's absolutely crazy to me seeing as just yesterday you were 8 months old and crawling around on the floor, biting the dog with your love bites. But you are quite the young man now, Jett. You've always been an old soul with an amazing sense of humor. You are wise beyond your years and the kindest person I know. You care so deeply about others and find ways to help people who need it. You are beloved in all groups you frequent. You're not only kind, but you are such a funny kid. You make me laugh every day, and laughing is one of my most favorite things. I love that you can laugh at yourself and have the confidence to just be you. 

You are also an incredibly smart kid. You learn things quickly and you love learning. You problem solve and never give up quickly. Quite often I find that you've read up on something or watched a documentary or video about a subject to understand an interest. Your classmates find you to be so helpful to them when they're struggling understanding something. 

You are so talented as well. You are my I.T. guy when I'm *this* close to throwing the computer against the wall. You're creative and come up with the best stories and art. You are an amazing wakeboarder. You are SUCH an incredible baker. I don't know how you do it, but your baked goods blow my baked goods out of the water. Just the other day you made pizza dough and made an entire pizza from scratch to share with the whole family. Holy cow I LOVED it!  I just absolutely adore cooking and baking with you. It will always be one of my favorite memories.

But my most favorite thing about you, Jett, is your ability to show empathy and compassion. And your ability to see things from another perspective. Most adults can't do that. You help your dad and I out so much, especially when you see us struggling. You help your brothers all the time. You see a need and fill that need. You go above and beyond what is expected. Just a few weeks ago I woke up on a Saturday to find that you had cleaned the entire kitchen. Like, DEEP cleaned. I never asked you to do that. In fact, I've never asked you to do that. But you saw the need and cleaned it and it was glorious. 

Something I love is that you message me every day while you're at school. I don't know if it's frowned upon or not, but you always find time to shoot me a quick message to say hi and to tell me you love me. I always look forward to it. I love our silly banter and that you like talking to me. I love that you come to me with your worries or struggles and that you feel safe confiding in me.

I am so pleased with the man you are becoming. I have been so blessed and can't take much credit for the person you are. You were born the funny, kind, empathetic, snuggly kid that you are today. Gosh, you are such an example to me. I want to be like you when I grow up. 😊

This year is your last in elementary school. You are going to be moving up and on and that totally blows my mind. But you are so ready for more opportunities and responsibility. I have all the confidence that you will rock jr. high. I am so happy that you love your current school and that you've made good friends. I am so grateful that you have kids around you who appreciate all your goodness. Continue to keep good friends.

Jett, boy, I just love you! I hope you've had a fantastic birthday. You bring our family so much joy and you make my Mama heart so proud. Thank you for being such a good son and a really, really good person. 

Thanks for letting me be your mom and your friend. 

Love,

Mom  

Today You Are Eight

Dear Miles,

Gosh, I can't believe you're eight already. It went so fast! People often say, "It seems like just yesterday..." but really, it really, really does. One minute you fit in my arms, all tiny and snuggly, and the next you're all arms and legs. But I'm glad you're still snuggly. You woke up this morning, excited that it was finally your birthday (you've been counting the days for months). You went to get dressed and lo and behold, you grew out of a pair of jeans and a favorite shirt. It's like your body was just waiting for your birthday be rid of your size 7 jeans and size small shirts. Thank goodness for hand-me-down clothes!

Miles, I first just want to say how pleased I am with who you are and the choices you make. Yes, you make mistakes just like the rest of us, but you make a lot of really, really, really good decisions. You are a good friend, brother, and son. You're smart and love to learn. You are kind and respectful. You are funny and helpful. You look out for other people and you know right from wrong. The other day, I sort of choked on something at dinner and I started to cough. And I coughed and coughed. You came up to me and patted me on the back, then ran to the kitchen and got me a glass of water as quick as you could. No one asked you to, you just saw the need, and took action. That's the sort of person you are. I'm so blessed to be your mom. 

This past year we have found ourselves still in a massive pandemic. It's been tough to be a kid during this time, especially for kids like you who need friends and school and playdates. You started a new school this year with new teachers, new friends, new routines, and a few new clothes. You met it with optimism, hope, and complete joy. You've made friends easily and have loved learning new things and having new experiences. And as tough as it is for me to send you out into a world that gives so many reasons to stay at home, your happiness and excitement make it so much easier. You're such a good example to me and so many. 

Miles, this year is a big year for you! You're getting baptized next week and that is so exciting! Today I asked you if you were ready, and you said, "Oh yes! I am so excited!" I asked you how it feels to be eight, and you said, "happy". You're making such an important decision and I am so pleased that you're excited to be making covenants with your Heavenly Father who loves you more than either of us can fathom. I'm so proud of you. 

Thank you for being my baby. I couldn't have asked for a better kid to be my youngest. Today I looked at those clothes you grew out of and realized I'd never see those clothes on one of my kids again. It's weird to mourn things like that, but as you grow, each thing you grow out of becomes the last, and I'm a little sad. But you've got a lot of things to grow out of still, and I'm grateful for every day I have to watch you grow, and grow, and grow out of more things. 

Miles, I hope this year is so kind to you. I hope you continue to love school and make friends. I hope that this pandemic will finally end and you can play maskless and attend all the parties, play with all the kids, and not have to worry about such depressing issues. I hope you never lose that joy and hope that beams from your adorable, toothy face. And I hope you never question how much you are loved. My goodness, you are so loved. 

Happy Birthday, sweet boy. I am so grateful I get to be your Mama. 

Love,

Mom

Today You Are Fourteen

 

My Dear Cruise,

Wow. I just can't believe how grown up you're getting! Despite the fact that it makes me feel incredibly old, I just love watching you grow up and become your own person. This past year has been crazy, especially since you had to do 8th grade at home and we are yet STILL in a pandemic. But you've been awesome through it all and I am so very excited for you to be able to go back to school and have an amazing year! I'm especially excited that you applied and got into Honors Art. That is going to be such a fun class and I know you'll continue to grow in your art and creativity. I am just so proud of you! You're going to do wonderful things.

Well, this year you got your very first grown up cell phone. I remember you getting your very first baby cell phone. It was an Elmo phone and you got it for your 1st birthday. You LOVED that phone and played with it all the time. You've had your hand-me-down iPhone for a whole day now and you already love playing with that one. 

My, how the years have flown. You used to be this adorable chubby baby and now you're an adorable big teenager. I love your sense of humor and how you never act like you're too old for Mom's hugs and kisses. I love that you can talk to me about anything and I love that you are so unique and your own person. I love that you write and draw. I love that you are so creative and imaginative. I love your confidence in who you are and your fearlessness to interact with the world. I admire that a lot.

I hope this year is good to you and that you'll get to learn all sorts of new things and make new friends. I hope you continue to develop your skills and learn more about yourself. I hope you continue to grow in the gospel and that you'll always lean on the Lord and your parents. We love you so much and we love who you are and the man you're becoming. I say it every year, but it's always true: I love being your mom! And I am so grateful that I am. It's never boring. 

I can't wait to see what you'll do this year! Have a great one, kiddo! Happy Birthday!

I love you so much,

Mom

Today You Are Eleven

 Dear Jett,

Wow! It seems like yesterday you were a brand new little guy who just wanted to be snuggled and held all the time. You haven't changed much in that sense. You've always been sweet and so easy to love. Over this past year, you've had to grow and adapt so much. 

Jett, you're the funniest, warmest, most lovable kid I know. You have the best sense of humor and you always can make me laugh. You are so helpful and kind. You think of others and try to see the best in people. You're such a great example to me. You are such a good brother. You help your brothers out when they aren't able to do something. When they're sad or upset and I can't cheer them up, you always seem to be able to. You're a good friend and just a really, really good person. The world needs more Jetts. 

This next year is kind of a big one for you. You're going to get the Priesthood and pass the Sacrament. You're also going to start 6th grade next fall and holy cow! That's crazy! How did you grow up so fast?! You're getting to that fun, awkward puberty stage and as much as I hate to see my babies get bigger and taller than me, I find that there is just so much more of you to love. 

You are finding things you're interested in and really good at. You can solve any computer problem I have and you know how to figure things out when I've given up after 5 minutes. You are such a good reader and end up staying up late with your little lantern reading books cover to cover. You are so talented on the wakeboard; I'm always so impressed at your abilities. You are an excellent cook and baker; I always love cooking together with you. You're good at basketball, Rubix cube, fly fishing, and starting fires (the good kind). You are smart and pick things up fast, and you're incredibly independent, which sometimes is out of necessity. 

Being the middle kid is so hard. I understand more than you know. I've depended on you quite a bit since you were little and I know that's been hard. In a lot of ways, you've had to fill a big-brother role to both your brothers and I know that's unfair. But I am so proud of you and I just appreciate how you always step up and help out, even when you just really don't want to. I love you, kiddo.

I am so grateful for you, Jett. I don't know what we would do without your sweet, funny, and strong spirit. I love hearing your testimony of the Gospel and I love seeing how you live it each day. I am in awe of the young man you are becoming and I really can't take all the credit for it. You're amazing. I hope you know how much I love you; I hope you grow up having no doubts about that. I hope I make you feel loved each and every day and I'm sorry that I fall short sometimes. 

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy, I hope this next year is a great one for you! I love you so much!

Love,

Mom 

Today You Are Seven

Dear Miles,

This morning I swooped you up and snuggled you. I asked you how you got so big and you told me, "That's just what happens, Mom. People just grow up." I asked if you'd always be my baby, even when you're a man. You told me, "Yep! Even when I'm a dad! Even when I'm DEAD!" We both laughed at that one. You always make me laugh. One of these days, you're going to be too big for your ol' mom to swoop up, but luckily that isn't today. Luckily I'll be able to lift you into bed and tuck your tiny body into the covers tonight. And luckily I'll be able to carry your sleepwalking body back into bed at midnight. But even when you're too big for me to do that, even when you're a big old man and I'm a very old mom, you will always and forever remain my baby boy. 

This school year you were supposed to start first grade. You were to finally be at school all day long and eat lunch there and make new friends. COVID-19 threw a wrench in our plans and you got to start first grade with a teacher named Mom, in a single room with two older kids you know very well already named Cruise and Jett. But you didn't show any disappointment. I've been so blessed to be able to get to know you on a different level because of it. I have found that you are really smart in math and that you love learning new things. You are hilarious and have big and creative ideas. You ask insightful questions and you love to lead others. Reading hasn't come easy to you, but you've continued to work hard at it and have had a deep desire to be able to read on your own. Recently you've been staying up (later than you're supposed to) to read more Piggie and Gerald books on your own after we've read one together already. 

Miles, I know your world is so different than mine was growing up. I know you don't get to play with your friends or go to museums or go on vacations. Right now your world is our house, our yard, and our cul-de-sac. But you rarely ever point out how unfair it is. Because it really is unfair. However, I have loved spending more time with you. You grow so quickly and in some small way, this pandemic has helped me hold on to your childhood more intently. I hope you look back when you're old with fond memories of this time. I hope you look back and see our home and our family as a refuge from the chaos and heartache of this world. 

About a week ago, Jett and I were making cookies and we had made way too many. It was your suggestion that we give some to neighbors. You were so excited to drop them off and to share them with the people in our neighborhood. So many people texted me and told me they loved being able to talk to you. After dropping off the 5th and final plate, you said, "Mom, I liked sharing with our neighbors. It makes me feel like a good person." I told you that you shared because you are a good person. 

Miles, I so very much love being your mom. You are so full of love and kindness and sweetness; you are such a bright light. You show people you love them by drawing them pictures and giving hugs and kisses. Please don't grow too much this year. But even if you do, you'll still be my baby and I'll always love you no matter what.

Happy Birthday Sweet Boy!

Love,

Mama

Today You Are Thirteen

 Dear Cruise,

I don't know how it happened so quickly, but you are no longer a child. Today you are a teenager. Sometimes when I look at you smiling at me, all I see is One Year you with your dimples and great big, twinkly brown eyes staring back. I can't believe how much you've grown. 

This past year has been an interesting one. You started jr. high last August not realizing how crazy things would be six months later, as we found ourselves learning from home and quarantining from the rest of the world because of COVID-19. It hasn't been the easiest living in a pandemic as a kid, but you've been patient and oh so very sweet. I have been able to count on you to be obedient and a peace-maker in our home and I am so grateful you've been that person.

You've spent a lot of time this year making funny videos on your Scratch.com account, and later sharing them on YouTube. I love your sense of humor; it brings me so much joy and helps me find laughter in a world that's increasingly sad, scary, and wicked. I hope that is something you will always share with others. Even if they don't appreciate it as much as I do. You should still share it. 

This year you also grew A TON and you are now almost taller than me, and your feet are definitely bigger. Which is fine with me because that means you'll stop stealing my sandals...maybe. Your voice is changing and Dad finally taught you how to shave. It is all so surreal to watch you grow up. 

Cruise, I can't tell you what this next year has to offer. I don't know if I'll do a good job homeschooling you. I don't know if we'll stay healthy. I don't know if the pandemic might get better, or if it will get worse. However, no matter what is going on around us, we have so much to be grateful for. No matter how bleak things may seem in the world, we have so much light and love within our own home. The Gospel of Jesus Christ strengthens each one of us, and His love brings us joy and refuge. Something I've enjoyed during this pandemic has been being able to do church at home. I love that you have a dad who is worthy to bless the sacrament, and I love that I have a son who is worthy to pass it. I am so grateful for your goodness and your desire to be righteous in all things. My prayer is that you continue to develop your testimony and to be continually striving to be a righteous man.

Cruise, I love you so much! You made me a mom 13 years ago. I had no idea what kind of kid I was getting when they placed you in my arms after you were born. I had no idea that I'd be getting a one-of-a-kind kid. But I don't think I could've imagined all the blessings I'd receive from having you as a son. You make me a better Mom and a better person.

Happy Birthday Cruise! You deserve to have an amazing day! I hope you always remember that your Mom loves you and that you are good, and kind, and so incredibly awesome.

Love,

Mom

August 2019

Boys Day Boating

August started out with boating. Dave took the boys, their friend Trevor, and Dave's brother Joe, out on Utah Lake. I stayed home and had some alone time because...summer. Apparently Trevor was pretty scared there for awhile, but eventually warmed up and finally enjoyed himself. 

Miles Cuts His Hair
August 5th was the day Miles decided to give himself a haircut. I was too upset to take a picture and tried my darndest to save it, but he had chosen the worst place to cut it: right up front. So I had to take it all. Miles felt so bad, that he drew me a picture. Because that's how Miles shows his love. You know he really loves you when he draws you pictures.

Cruise's Birthday
The 7th was Cruise's 12th birthday! He decided to invite 3 friends, Aiden, Sam, and Ethan, to Fat Cats that had just opened in Saratoga Springs in July. It was the first time any of us had been there and we were pleasantly surprised at how nice it was and how many arcade games they had. We had the boys all do some glow miniature golf first, which lasted a total of 5 minutes. Then we gave them each a card with money for the arcade games. It worked out great because it was half-price Wednesday, so our $10/kid budget really was $20/kid. Score! That lasted about an hour, and then after they turned in their tickets for prizes, we went out to the car for cupcakes! It was windy out, so we had to have Cruise blow his candle out in the car, where he also opened all his presents. It wasn't ideal, but it was free! And everyone loves free.

Cruise had received a Storm Trooper mask for his birthday that distorts your voice. So of course he offered to read Jett and Miles their bedtime stories and they all thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. And it totally was.

Then that Sunday we had the Ybarras over to celebrate his birthday. Vanilla on vanilla cake. And he got lots of $$$. That's all he really asked for, and he got it!

Strawberry Trip
On the 9th, we took a mini camping trip to Strawberry Reservoir.

 When Dave went with the scouts to Strawberry, he learned of the good places to camp you don't have to pay, so we headed up that way and found us a nice spot. Everyone was helpful setting up camp so we could go down to the lake.

Miles was really good at catching crickets and bugs. 

 Once we got everything set up, we headed out to the lake and snorkeled for crawdads! Luckily we all had our wetsuits. We also had a couple of nets to share and Dave had a trap and raw chicken legs to catch them with. The boys loved every minute. And I loved watching everyone have a good time. Because really, that's a good time to me.

 Miles got super cold at one point and called it quits. So I got him all changed and bundled up in the back of the van on the blowup mattress.

 The clouds rolled in and started raining a little. We made it back to camp and cooked up burgers under an umbrella. It could've been a lot worse. Luckily it passed pretty quickly and we got to enjoy the evening.

 We decided to cook up the crawdads we caught and while we waited for the water to boil, we sat around and tried to tell ghost stories and play the alphabet game. It wasn't long before Cruise revolted and decided it was too boring.

 Finally the crawdads were ready to eat and produced, as usual, a minimal amount of meat.

 We put the boys to bed finally and Dave and I stayed up and made sure the fire was completely out before we turned in ourselves. While the boys slept in the tent on mattresses, Dave and I had our own in the van. It got cold, but everyone seemed to stay pretty warm. Although, I never feel like we bring enough blankets. You can never have too many blankets camping.

 In the morning, we had cereal, muffins, and cocoa for breakfast. At one point, Miles almost fell head first into the fire, but luckily my cat-like reflexes saved him. My phone fell and got covered in cocoa, but Miles made it home with a face. So it was all good. 

 After breakfast, we packed up camp and it was THE. WORST. There was mud everywhere and everything was wet. The kids were minimally helpful. Cruise, at one point, put on his sandals and decided it would be fun to jump into a giant mud puddle where both his feet and the sandals were quickly eaten up and he was stuck. There was mud all over his pants and feet and sandals. I had to pull him out and clean his feet off, which was not an easy task. Once he was clean, I banished him to the van to watch a movie and wouldn't let him out. The whole pack-up experience was a nightmare and Dave and I decided to not do this again. But we probably will because we're parents and parents say that all the time and then completely forget how awful it is until the next time they go.

Once packed up, everyone (not me) wanted to go back to the lake and catch more crawdads. So we went and spent a couple more hours doing that. Having reached my stress and anxiety threshold at that point, I sat in a camping chair next to the car and worked on a bag of dill sunflower seeds as I watched everyone snorkel. When the boys came in with a crawdad, I'd help them put it in the bucket. And they came in with A LOT. And Dave, who had lost the trap, spent the majority of the time looking for it. Luckily, he eventually found it and it was full of crawdads.

 When we got home, we cooked them all up and there were so many they started crawling out of the pot! It's best to just think of them as tiny lobsters, otherwise it's completely gross and creepy.

 That many crawdads produced this plate of meat. Yup. It's never worth it, but the boys for some reason love it. I will say though, it's pretty delicious.

Last Backflip
On the 16th, we invited our friends, the Lowes, onto the boat. All 8 of them. We had the whole lake to ourselves and the Lowes loved every second. However, this was also the trip where Dave tried to do a backflip on the wakeboard and ended up tearing his MCL, which ended the wakeboarding season early. Sadly, it was a sobering reminder that we aren't 17 anymore.

First Day of School

The first day of school for Cruise was the 19th: 7th Grade Day! He was SO. EXCITED. and I was SO. NERVOUS for him. When I dropped him off at school, all the teachers were waiting outside with music blaring and they cheered as every student made their way into the school. It was the sweetest thing and Cruise loved it. And it made me feel a lot better about his day.

 Then Jett started 4th grade with Mr. Morris on the 20th.

 And then Miles started Kindergarten on the 27th with Mrs. Gunn! He got a new backpack and a new Pokemon shirt and was ready for anything! Dave and I took him to his first day, and of course the first thing he did was make a new friend. After we said goodbye, Dave and I went on a celebratory breakfast date to Waffle Love. It was the first time we had gone and I'm sad to say, it was the most disappointed I have ever been in a waffle place. I mean, maybe for dessert, but man oh man, not breakfast! But it was still nice to get out just the two of us.

 

Honorable Mentions:

Miles wanted a picture in the tree after church.

Jett got new shorts and quickly realized he looked just like Dave before/after work. Dave brings his suitcase into the house up on his hand like a pizza deliverer.

The boys spent a good deal of time at the neighbor's pool with a bunch of neighbor kids. Luckily it's right next door, so it was easy to check on them.

I found an old hot chocolate can full of my Pogs from when I was a kid. I showed the boys how to play. It held their attention for maybe 5 minutes. Ugh.

My mom came to Utah for Education Week at BYU and stopped by our house bearing gifts for the kids. Cruise got Grandma's old laptop for school, Jett got a surfer shirt, and Miles got a pilot hat, which he wore EVERYWHERE for the next two weeks.

Miles brought me a flower he picked and wanted me to put it in my hair.

We visited the Provo pool on their last outside day open. I'm surprised I didn't get more pictures, but the truth is, we were just having too much fun to stop and snap pictures.

And finally, Dave took Jett fly fishing again. It had been so long that he grew out of his waders. Luckily, he was able to wear some of Dave's, but he was definitely too small for them.

And that was August!