To The Special Needs Parents:

So I found this in my posts that I hadn't published yet, and I thought I'd finally put it out there although it was written in 2011. So, here it is:

"It's been almost 18 months since our special needs journey began, and to put it bluntly, I'm still clueless. I'm clueless because, let's face it, once we figure out what works and what doesn't, the kiddos change it up on us and we get to start from scratch.

Whether you're a veteran special needs parent or new, you already know that there are days you hate it. And it's okay! You can hate it sometimes! You are allowed to not enjoy the hours of meltdowns, the inevitable digressions, the frustration of it all! It sucks! But you also know that despite how hard it can be, those times where the tornado calms and the sun comes out, are that much brighter.

I've always thought that special needs parents are the luckiest of parents. Now, before you object, just listen: because of all the work we do to get our children to do just one tiny thing, say, make eye contact, when those events occur, we are ecstatic. We have to tell the world! We are grateful for every little sign of development and progress! Every little step is a miracle and because of that, our lives are filled with them. Hence, my claim that we are the luckiest of parents.

Tonight as I was laying in my son's bed after reading books, he said the prayer and gave me a big kiss goodnight. I laid next to him as I waited for him to fall asleep and thought about the past year. Only recently has he started to say his own prayers and it fills me with such joy. He LOVES to say prayers, he LOVES to talk about Jesus, and I can only imagine that he of all people has the most beautiful relationship with our Heavenly Father. As I let my thoughts wander, I wondered to myself when Cruise will say the words, "I love you, Mommy." Every time I tell him I love him, he gives me a big kiss. So until the words come, I know that that kiss means, "I love you, Mommy."